Fairyly Lost
by Leaviel
Summary: This is a crossover with Lost and Zelda. A fairy lives on the island and she's trying to find the so-called "chosen one". Random, very random.
1. Why Pixy Stix Are Bad For You

Rightio! The plot bunny bit me while I was pealing shrimp. This is a sort of crossover with Zelda and Lost. More Lost than Zelda, though. Which is why 'tis in the Lost category. Yay. It's random. It's weird. Which is pretty much the same as my other stories. This story was inspired by "Hey, Ocarina! The Cheesy Zelda Musical" by Galaxy Girl and "The Lost Diaries" by robo t. Each chapter will represent each episode of Lost, so expect the first ones to be posted really fast (I hope). Then the other one's will be every week (again, I hope). Going to start now. BEWARE!

Why Pixy Stix Are Bad For You 

A plane crashed this morning. FINALLY! I've been waiting for bloody FOREVER! A little fairy can only take so much!

Ah, that's right. I'm a fairy. Forgot to mention that. And I'm not one of those pretty fairies you see in fantasy movies and what not; I'm just Leavy, a glowing green ball with wings, who flutters about everywhere. I do have a body, you just can't see it untill you're close up.

See, a while ago (I forgot how many years/centuries it's been) the Great Deku Tree sent me to this island to wait for the chosen one, like my cousin Navi did a while back. The next Link. I have yet to find him.

Sure, there's the crazy french lady who killed all her mates. Oh! And Ethan. But I don't like him; too creepy. Waaaaaaay too creepy. And whatever that strange metal elephant thingy that keeps making weird noises and rustling the trees all the time is. Anywhosies, it's been rather dull. And I keep running into those stupid traps Rousseau (the crazy french lady) put up.

Stupid humans.

Maybe these new people will be more friendly. I certainly hope so (not like it would be preticularly hard). I had to wake up one of them who had landed in the jungle. Apparently he's a doctor, so I figured it'd be helpful for him to… help the other people. I sent a random dog to do the waking, as I figured waking up to a green ball of light bouncing up and down would not help one's sanity.

So far, the other people I've seen are a young girl atempting to get some handcuffs off, a young dark guy with what I think is his really young son, a very pregnant young (oh, to Ganon with it! They're ALL young!) Aussi, a stupid guy trying to collect pens from everyone (never heard of anyone with a pen fetish before), a stupid-looking blonde girl who only knows how to scream and not help anyone, an older man who likes to wriggle his toes and eat oranges, a Korean couple, a rather large man with a lot of curly hair, an Iraki guy (also with curly hair), an older dark woman with a ring around her neck (cough frodo cough), a dangerous-looking cowboy guy, two similar-looking guys, and a slightly spaced-out British guy who almost got smashed by a piece of plane. That was funny. There are a lot more people, but they didn't stand out as much. I'm guessing that whoever I'm supposed to be looking for is one of these people. I wonder if they'll ever find that small plane.

Oh yeah, the plane exploded. Very amusing. Not too much entertainment aroung here until now. The people have all spread out along the beach at different camp fires. I've turned myself invisible so as to figure out who these people are and to see if any of them are the chosen one.

First camp fire. The Iraki guy (Sayid) was trying to keep a signal fire going with the spaced-out guy (Charlie). I guess they managed. Currently, Charlie is writing on some tape around his fingers. Interesting…

Second camp. The two stupid looking people are here. Apparently they are brother and sister. Figures. The guy (Boone, weird name) keeps pestering the girl (Shannon) to eat something, but she says she'll eat on the rescue boat. Hate to burst her bubble, but no boat is coming. Maybe she'll starve.

Third camp fire. The handcuff girl (Kate) and the doctor guy (Jack) seem to have hit it off. She stiched up his side while he gave her an amusing acount of how he counts to overcome his fear. Hey, if it works.

Fourth camp. Dark lady (Rose) keeps fingering her ring and muttering "Precious". 'Tis a wee bit unnerving.

Fifth camp. Father (Micheal) is comforting son (Walt). Something tells me he hastn't been this kid's dad for very long.

Sixth camp fire. A bunch of people including the pregnant lady (Claire), the two similar looking guys (Scott and Steve, similar names too!), the large guy (Hurley), older orange smiley guy (Locke), and a couple of other random people.

Seventh camp. Cowboy (Sawyer) keeps reading a letter from a little kid about how Saywer had an affair with his mother and when the dad found out, he shot the mom and then himself. Personally, I wouldn't _want_ to read sommat like that. Mabye 'tis just me. Hope not.

Eight camp. Korean couple talking in Korean. I can't speak Korean. Drat.

The metal elephant was at it again. It startled all the poor little people. I found out that Charlie enjoys stating what everyone is thinking. "Terrific." Oh, this _is_ terrific! I've narrowed down my list of people it could be. Figured the two stupid people weren't it, and was told that the person would be relitively young. Maybe it's Walt. Except that he hasn't really been showing the qualities of a chosen one. I don't think Claire is it either, or Hurley. They just don't seem right.

Rummaged around in people's stuff and found a bunch of pixy stix in Walt's luggage. I love pixy stix! Soo… yummy… oh great, now I'm druling. Just spiffin'. Hehehehehehehehheheheheheeeeeee! HYPER HYPER HYPER HYPER HYPER!

I was woken up with a bad headache (damn pixy stix!) by the Brit. He was searching for something, I'm not sure what.

"Aaargh!" he yelled when he picked me up. "What's this?"

"I'm a fairy! Sheesh!"

"Oh no, the withdrawels must be effecting me more than I thought. I'm seeing things!"

Withdrawels? He's a druggy? That explains a lot. Hey… this might be useful. If he's going through drug withdrawels… I could talk to him and he'd just think he was hallucinating. Hmm…

"Hullooooooo, in there!" I said to his bewildered face. "Anyone home? I was talking to you!"

"Oh, man. This is NOT good!"

"The fairy is _talking_ to you!" Damn, Navi mode coming up. "Listen!"

"What!" Hehehe! He must have jumped a foot in the air.

"Why does no one pay attention to me? I am, after all, a _fairy_. You don't see those everyday."

"You look more like a tennis ball."

"Thanks." Kids these days.

"Uhh… What am I supposed to do with you?"

"Well, for starters, you could put me down."

"Oh! Right." He let me go and I flopped back down on the bag.

"That's better. What were you looking for anyway?"

He didn't answer for a bit. "I guess since you aren't really there, it won't hurt to tell you." Stupid humans. Fairies DO exist! "I was looking for… my…my…" He glanced around him. "I was looking for my drugs, okay!"

"Good luck trying to find them. But you might try searching elsewhere. They're not likely to be in a kid's suitcase."

"Uhh…"

"Look, can I just stay in your pocket? You won't even know I'm there."

"Can't you fly?"

"Well, yeah! But I want to stay with a human so I can get to know you people better."

"Why me?"

"Well… I hadn't really thought about that." Probably a good idea NOT to tell him that the only reason I decided to travel with him is 'cause he's slightly mad, anyway. "You seem like a nice person."

He snorted. "Right. But do you really think that no one will notice the slight bulge of you in my pocket?"

"Fine! I'll stay in your hood." After all, Navi had done it. Why not myself?

"Whatever."

I flew up and hid inside his jacket hood, noticing Boone coming this way. "Person alert."

"Hello." Boone said. "Have you seen my sister, Shannon?"

"What does she look like?"

"Uhh… She has blonde hair…"

Seriously! I suppose he could have tried to be less vague. "She's the stupid blonde girl who was screaming like a banshee yesturday." I whispered in Charlie's ear.

"Oh, no. I haven't seen her around."

"'K, thanks." At least he wasn't asking for more pens. Charlie walked over to a campfire where a couple of people were talking.

"Don't you think we should do something about the… B O D Y S?" Hurley asked, looking at Walt. Sheesh! Even _I_ can spell better than that, and I've never written anything!

"Are you trying to spell bodies?" Micheal asked him.

"B O D _I_ E S." Walt corrected him. I glanced out of Charlie's hood. Jack and Kate were talking about going to find the front of the plane somewhere in the forest.

"Go with them!" I hissed in Charlie's ear. "Just do it! Besides, your precious drugs might be there." I said, before he could protest.

"Can I come with you?"

"We don't need anyone else."

"I'll be alright. Please. Beat's sitting around here all day."

"Okay, fine." Spiffin'! Now I can see what those two're up to. We walked through the woods for a while before Kate struck up a conversation with Charlie. Apparently she's seen him before but she can't quite place it.

"I think I know." Charlie was saying.

"Yeah?"

"You all everybody! You all everbody!" My ears! My ears! What was that!

"What?"

"You know that song?"

"Yeah, but-"

"That's us! That's driveshaft!"

"_You're_ in driveshaft?"

"I am in driveshaft! Charlie Pace! I play the base!" Hehe, that rhymed. They went on, trying to convince Jack that Charlie was in this band with its strange song (which my dear friend Charlie decided to sing again). Jack said what I was thinking:

"We need to move on." Maybe he's the so-called 'chosen one'. More walking. You know, I'm starting to find Charlie rather amusing. The island weather kept it's strangeness up and it started to pore.

"Guys? Is this normal, this day-turning-into-night, end-of-the-world type weather? Is this—guys?" Strange fellow, that one. We rounded a corner, and there it was, the fusilage. Or so Jack was calling it. Lovely little place. B O D Y S all over the place. The three of them climbed up to top of the plane (it was tilted) and went into the cockpit. Well, Jack and Kate did, anyway. Charlie proceeded to go to the bathroom, and I decided not to follow. Invisibly, I looked around the cockpit. Apparently, Jack was looking for some transever thingy. I knew they'd never find it without help, and since I don't know what the heck a transever is, I used some of my powers to ressurect the pilot. Did it too fast though, I think it freaked Jack and Kate out a wee bit. Sure enough, the pilot knew where the walkie talkie thing was. Kate got freaked out again when Chalie poped open the bathroom door.

"What were you doing in the bathroom?"

"What?" Humans are quite curious creatures.

AIIIEE! The pilot guy was looking out of the plane when those noises started up again. I kept thinking "Don't poke your head out of the plane! Don't poke you head out of the plane! So what's the first thing he does? He pokes his head out of the plane… and gets grabbed by the monster/metal elephant thing. And then the plane decided to fall. Plesant, very plesant. Maybe I shouldn't have come. And maybe I should have. Oh, bloody hell! After the pilot episode A/N no pun intended, everyone quickly dashed out of the plane, trying to get away from whatever was chasing us. I made the mistake of going back inside Charlie's hood the minute he tripped and fell. At least Jack was there to pull him out of the mud.

Running, running, running. Ran into Kate. She was counting. Apparently to quell her fears. Why she listened to that Jack guy, I'll never know. Wanted to shout out random numbers, but decided against it. Besides, Charlie was forcefully knocked down by Kate, trying to find out where Jack was. Those two must have something going on. I kinda feel sorry for Charlie. The poor ex-rocker seems to feel unwanted. Well, at least he's got me… even if he doesn't think I exist.

We found the pilot. I guess my revival spell was useless, he was all bloodied up in a tree. Jack poped up right after and confirmed that, yes indeed, that was the pilot. And then Charlie, brilliant Charlie, said what we were all thinking again:

"How does something like that happen?"

Welp, there ya go! The first chappie! Not too great. I may change it to more of a story format where we can just hear what Leavy is thinking, but 'tis still in third person. Yes, Leavy is short for Leaviel. It works. I think I got most of the quotes right, not entirely sure about all of them. Hope you like my strange atempt at a Lost fic… and a cross-over. Thankies for wasting your time reading this.

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	2. Attack of the Polar Bears

Yay. Another chapter. This isn't one of my greatest fics, but maybe I can make it better. Woot.

Attack of the Polar Bears 

This is fun. I'm wet, I'm ridding in a sopping wet hood, and now I'm seeing other people's flashbacks.

"Every trek needs a coward." Charlie said.

"You're not a coward." Kate told him. I wouldn't be so sure about that. You should have seen how fast he was running away from that monster thing.

FWOOSH!

Tap tap tap. Charlie needed his drugs. Tap tap tap. He needed them bad. Tap tap tap.

"Excuse me, sir. Do you need anything?" the flight attendant questioned him.

Tap tap tap. "No. I'm alright." Tap tap tap. "Please." She left, looking slightly worried. Charlie glanced back. She was talking about him to the other flight attendants. Tap tap tap. If he could just get his drugs. Tap tap tap. Just a little bit. He looked back again. They started coming towards him. Charlie took off. Passing between isles and brushing past someone, he made it to the bathroom at the front of the plane. Taking off his shoe, Charlie took the little bag out and opened it. At last, he had them. Sniiiiiiiff.

"Sir?" Outside of the bathroom was one of the male flight attendants. "Sir? Open up."

"Just a minute!" Charlie took a little more of his drug.

"Sir? We need you to open up." Bang bang, they pounded on the door.

"Just a minute!" Charlie said again. He looked at the bag of drugs. Why was he doing this? It was ruining his life. He could stop now. The toilet. He could flush them down the toilet. Charlie dropped his little bag, reached for the handle—

WHAM! The plane jolted, throwing Charlie against the ceiling. He quickly got out of the bathroom stall, dodging a runaway food cart. The plane kept rocking. Charlie moved back, trying to find a seat. There! He sat down, buckled the seatbelt, and grabbed the oxygen mask.

What was that? So Charlie really _is_ a druggy. I guess I pointed him in the right direction after all... or not.

The three (and a half—a quarter maybe?) companions arrived back at the beach, where Sawyer and Sayid were dueling it out.

What are they doing? Stupid humans! Fighting for no good reason! Oh wait, the cowboy thinks the Arab guy is a terrorist.

The fairy rolled her eyes.

So, yay… Now a bunch of people are going into the jungle. Apparently Sayid is good at fixing stuff, and he fixed the transceiver thingy. Woot. However, they cant get any reception here at the beach, so they're gonna go climb one of the mountians on this lovely island to see if'n they can get any signal up there. Oh, if they only knew. I was thinking that it probably isn't the greatest idea to go traipsing through the forest with that crazy Ethan robot guy. Oh well. Kate, Sayid, Charlie, the blonde, her brother, and Sawyer have come on this little trip. Yes… Sawyer. I don't know why he came. Saw that random dog again, staring at us. A little creepy. I'm still riding in Charlie's hood. And the Arab guy and Sawyer are still arguing. And Shannon is still blonde.

They walked for a while longer, getting higher and higher.

Rustle rustle

Everyone looked around.

"What was that?"

"It's coming towards us, I think." Charlie responded.

Shannon started screaming. "Oh, I shouldn't have come! I shouldn't have come! Aaaahhh!"

"Run! RUN!"

Crap! Something's chasing us! But it doesn't sound like that monster thing…

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Turning around, the rest of the group saw Sawyer, gun in hand, standing over the body of a large white animal.

"What is it?"

What do you _think_ it is?

"It's a bear."

"That's not just a bear," Kate corrected (someone… I forget), "That's a _polar_ bear!"

"Polar bears don't live in the jungle," Shannon, oh wise one, said.

"Spot on." Charlie agreed with her.

Spot on? What? I'm terribly confused. Oh well, guess Ms. French lady is minus one of her bears. Darn! not

"Where'd that come from?" Kate asked Sawyer.

"I don't know! Bear Village?"

"Not the bear, the gun."

Oh, good question.

"I lifted it off of a U.S. Marshall I saw."

"How'd you know he's a Marshall?"

"Because he had a little badge. See? I took that too."

Sayid commented about Sawyer being the prisoner who belonged to a pair of handcuffs found in the woods. Kate and Sawyer argued for a bit about the gun, until Kate took it, and unloaded it. Sayid asked her what was wrong.

"Nothing."

And everyone believes that!

FWOOSH!

Kate is on the plane sitting next to the Marshall. He offers her a drink and she refuses. Her hands are handcuffed to the seat. When the turbulence starts, the Marshall is knocked unconscious by something that hit him on the head. Kate struggles to get the keys from him as she puts the oxygen masks on herself and the Marshall.

Kate's a fugitive! Wow, I supposed I should have figured that out when I saw her with the handcuffs on. Hehe…

When the castaways reached an open area, Sayid checked to see if the transceiver was working. It was. But a strange voice was coming out of it… And it wasn't speaking in English.

"It's the French!" Charlie said, gleefully. "The French are coming!"

Umm… no they aren't.

"Can anyone speak French?" Sayid asked.

No one said anything. Then Boone lit up. "_She_ can!" he pointed towards his sister.

"What? No I can't"

"You spent a year in France!"

"Drinking, not studying!"

Oh, I never would have guessed.

They argued for a bit more and Sayid gave the transceiver to Shannon. As she listened, her face grew dark and she pointed out that it was repeating. Sayid started calculating by the number that the transmission said after it repeated. Shannon translated the message.

"Help," she said. "They're all dead… It killed them… It killed them all… Help me…"

"Sixteen years."

"What?" Everyone looked at Sayid.

"The transmission, it's been playing, over and over again… for sixteen years."

Wow. He's smart.

They all looked at each other.

"Guys," Charlie said, "Where are we?"

YAY! Another chapter is COMPLETE! I gotta stop quoting everything. Oh… about the next chapter. I haven't actually _seen_ the 3rd episode of Lost. I've read about what happens… but I haven't seen it. So be prepared for a fuzzy chapter. The chapters should get better as they go along, and I get the gist/hang of this story. Also, it'll help to write about episodes that I remember more of. Yay…

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